All i want for Christmas is you

A routine life suits me well, wandering between home and school, Calm and Satisfied. I talk to my mother almost every day, technology made it easy, to stay connected, and you wouldn't feel that far away from them. I talk to my cousins, they tell me all the jokes, silly things they did, all the fights they had, who was mean to who, who was beaten by who, who did not do the homework,  the new clothes, Wateen's kindergarten, Sami's new car, Mama's new mobile phone, Baba's new eyeglasses, I know it all, I can even see it all. I don't even need to make friends or meet people here, it is all on my phone. 

Now come the holidays. The library is empty, no one is in the lab, school is closing, my inbox is full of Merry Christmas and happy new year emails. All of them are traveling to see friends and family. I am leaving the school building now, waiting for the M4 at the 120th with Broadway, wearing that heavy coat, it is almost -3 C degrees, trying to distract myself by listening to Nancy Ajram songs until the bus arrives, thinking about what to do in these 10 days they call the winter break. It is all coming back to me now, all these things I have taken for granted for so long. 

I am now in my room, a room is still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom. But a room is not a house and a house is not a home. 

All this data, the information I get from my mobile, pictures and videos, hearing the laughs, seeing the colors, don't even come close to a touch, a smell, or a very small and light hug when you just arrive. Although we don't exchange words of love and appreciation regularly, as in most Sudanese families, they are THE family, the only family you have ever known. The closest thing you have ever experienced to that endless and unconditional love we always hear about in stories. 

All I want for this Christmas is them! Before I change my mind next Christmas LOL When I get fed up with their problems, the nagging, and that nonsense speech.